hmm

on cloud 9

mixture of 3 dreams i had about 10 yrs ago

 i'm at sea. northern sea. it used to be a lake, but that i see whales i know i'm in the middle of something big.

i'm travelling in a tiny boat. looks like a fishing boat. on my left side there are five men. fathers and sons and single fathers and cousins and uncles and nephews, step-brothers and step-fathers, husbands, godfathers, brothers-in-law, neighbours, friends, grandfathers. i'm a step-daughter, a step-sister, a cousin, a niece, a neighbour, a friend. godmother of a grandson.

i travel with the men of the brotherhood. i travel with the men of the fatherhood. i travel with the men of responsibility. i travel with the men of respect. i travel with the men of intellect. i travel with the men of leadership. i travel with the men of peace. i'm safe.

i travel with the men of nature.

i travel with a man of travelling and medicine. he's a godfather who once cut his wristle with an axe behind the sauna. that's where all the violence of the brotherhood in the north happened. after replacing the palm he came to show it to me how good it became. soon after that he became a world traveller. not yet a healer. at first he has to fall in love in far places. his nature is the nature of the sun and warmth. he's a man of the wisdom and healing hands. he once told in the moment of the shipwreck how one must learn, that one can't become attached on earthly things. that's like what it is said in matthew 9-16-25 too. he's with the authority on his goddaughter. she tells he is her best friend. she does anything he asks her to do. when she was a baby, she closed her eyes and started sleeping just like that when he asked her to do so.

we travel on water that is not like water at all. it is an unknown element. it is grey and like some kind of oil. sky is grey and low. i see whales in the water. scares me a bit to pass them so close. i think if i should do some fishing, but decide not to. i also see an animal unknown to me under the water. man steering the boat tells me that it's an elk diving. i learn that the elk is a symbol of leadership and stamina. i learn that a man with the elk power is considered excessively lucky in love.

i'm totally surrounded by grey. even the woods repeat the same colour. if i was an inuit i would be able to see more than fifty different greys. i would be able to give names to them all. now there are only three different greys. what grows is always the darkest.

all of a sudden we're in a life raft, life raft that is round, black and with the engine. made of the inner tube of the tractor tyre. i'm not sure if it's an inner circle. it's perfectly designed to those circumstances. there's now a thin layer of white snowish ice that covers the grey sea under us. ice either is not like ice at all, it's more like a mixture of snow and fabric. if i'd touch it it would feel like touching cotton.

i must be a member of a rescue party. is my politics the politics of god's kingdom?

then the life raft throws me to the shore. to the shore that belongs to a man who marked his wife with the bruises. i lay down in the snow and giggle. on the shore there's a cottage of a family man. life taught him much, he knew everything about crime, divorce, disability of the child, death of the child, death of the spouse. he's a man with whom you pee under from laughing too much.

then i see you.

everything's with a pure connection.

you're in an inner circle. i must calculate the angle. is it 9-16-25?

no words out loud are needed.

you possess symmetry, masculinity, maturity, openness. you possess power and control. you possess leadership and knowledge. you possess awareness. you're a star. also by your body position.

you're going somewhere with me.

 you're going to steer the life raft. you're sovereign with any element. you know how to steer black on white. in the nature there's nothing black, there's only grey and white. there's only one nature.

so far up north i had to go to find you.

so far up north i had to come to find you, a master, a developed monk.

who, hopefully would sleep under a crystal chandelier, because i don't. not a very good feng shui if it'd crash me. that kind of activity is only for a developed monk, a monk, like you.

cloudberry jam

cloudberry was wearing a stairway to heaven under her skirt.

cloudberry was easily named after her wild running cloudberry hair, and what a coincidence, she later became to fall into cloudberries, cloudberry liqueur and cloudberry jam. she enjoyed being almost drunk, she was for the taste. she was born to style. the more sugary the better. she was sweet.

she was with cloudberries, so much she had learned from hidden gold. her age was golden. it was with numbers too. cloudberry carried in her memory of the men that had gone far. she heritaged their lands and seas. it was her great grandfather that had reached the furthest. for some time for two times in the direction of world-class west he was looking for gold. what he found never satisfied him. he didn't know he was born on golden carpet of cloudberries.

how cloudberry was with cloudberries was beautiful. she wanted them to mark herself. give her a name that was not forgotten. right behind her teeth there was a cloudberry tattooed on her skin for her lover. she never told where it was exactly hidden, she knew her lover would find it. it was on his way. her lover found without looking for. there was a golden berry shining on her tooth too, it was for her. she loved mirrors. by the gateway to heaven there was a tiny white cloud tattooed on her skin. it was her absolute favourite, such a little miracle it was, it knew how to have and make rain! different kinds of even.

cloudberry truly was with treasures, she was almost a piece of art work. she liked it that way, she loved things that were unfinished and vulnerable. stairway to heaven was tattooed on her skin too, processing revealed secrets to her. tattoo was right under her heart. she didn't know if she wanted stairs to go down to her toes.

when cloudberry almost wanted to get drunk, it was always with her lover. she was with a bottle of finest cloudberry liqueur and truly liked getting vulgar with her thirst. it was for her lover that cloudberry carried a cup, she herself had to have a sip straight from the bottle. always it was not just a sip but she did hard try to share the drink. cup for her lover was right in the middle of her tummy. life had blessed her with a very tiny cup, it was weightless for her to carry. her lover didn't complain about it being so little for him to drink, he loved cute things. cloudberry sometimes loved to see little puddles on the bumps of her or his skin, she did love mirrors and the more reflections of her lover there were the better. she loved him. she tried not to breathe and move to avoid puddles to run away.

sometimes she gave birds water to drink from her cup too, she was synchronous with the nature at times. birds came to say goodbye as they left, a true lovebird she was they knew. one time they showed her how the the last check-up for the long flight was to be done... it was hundreds of tiny birds checkin' how to split into three groups... it was amazing. they then checked each group one by one to see every bird group was ready to hit the sea. they left as a one group. this happened when it was almost the best time of the year for the cloudberries. almost cloudberry big time.

the most expensive treasure cloudberry was with, was her wealth. it was not seen by anyone else but her lover. she had given it for him to invest. it was a delicate golden nugget with a classy shape shining for them at night there was no moon. they never stopped wondering the light it was with in the darkness there exists only under blankets. dark clouds in the sky protecting and wanting to make its shine the brightest.

collars

hide me in your collar.